Monthly Archives: October 2002

Quiet, Daddy

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I was looking out the window toward our backyard one day recently, when I noticed movement near the door to our garden shed. I thought at first that it was just the groundhog again, the one that lives under the shed. But when I looked more closely, I could see some different colors and knew that it wasn’t the groundhog. I decided to walk out there and take a closer look. To my surprise, as I got near the shed, I could see that it was two little kittens, one gray and the other black and white, playing just outside the door. They were no more than a month old, I’d guess. When they finally saw me, they both scurried away into hiding. Now I know that we have a family of wild cats living in the shed, in addition to the groundhog! Keegan is now learning to play the alto saxophone, and seems to be enjoying it a lot. His first band concert will be in early December. Tristan continues to run around the house with tremendous energy. He doesn’t like it when he can’t keep me in sight, though. He gets very upset when I am not here. Brinley is putting on weight, and her skinny little legs are filling out! Michele says she takes after my side of the family because she makes lots of funny noises. A few days ago, I was joking around with Keegan and Tristan while they were having breakfast, singing silly songs. Tristan finally said to me in a shaking-his-head-at-my-stupidity tone of voice: “Quiet, Daddy!” Yesterday, I heard from our lawyer that the appropriate court papers had finally been filed in support of my adoption of Keegan. The next step will be a visit from the state department of child and family services. I am very glad that after several months of frustrating wait, things are finally moving along. Yesterday, we got a package from my sister, Becky, in New Zealand. It included a gift for Brinley and a letter with some photos of her family. It was great to hear from her! I often regret that we live so far away. Her children are nearly full grown now and it is sad that I have missed most of their growing up period.

Baby shower for Brinley

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Yesterday, the staff at the library where I work had a baby shower for Brinley. We had a great time. Michele and I feel somewhat overwhelmed by the kindness of people around us here at Taylor. Every night this week, someone has made dinner for us. In addition to that, last night our next door neighbor came over to give us a homemade apple pie that she had baked for us. It was delicious! I read a scripture today that seemed to really fit with what I needed to hear: (John 15:5) [Jesus says] “I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he bears much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” If I’m not close to Him, it is no wonder then that I feel overwhelmed and anxious by various circumstances and responsibilities. “Apart from me, you can do nothing.”

This world is not our home

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The other day, when Michele and I were on our way to a doctor’s visit for Brinley, we listened to a radio program on which Anne Graham Lotz was speaking. It was a recording of her speaking at the funeral of a little girl who had died when only six months old. She spoke about how this earth is not our home, our home has been prepared for us in heaven. Something about this hit me forcibly, reminding me especially of my father’s death. I cried so hard that it was hard to see where I was driving. Jesus said that He has prepared a place for each one of us. That is where my grandparents are, my brother Donny, and now my father, in the special place that has been prepared for them. Lotz’s speech reminded me to see things in a different light. We should expect sorrow or trouble or whatever here in this life; our life to be with Jesus in heaven is our true home. Last night, the women in Michele’s Bible study had a shower for her and Brinley — what nice people! They are also taking turns to provide us with a meal every night this week, which is a real lifesaver. Keegan’s excited about the fact that he has the next two days off from school, and hopes he gets to stay over at his best friend David’s house tonight. He has grown up so much these last few months. Where does the time go?

Looking for Alaska

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I’m reading a great book that my mother-in-law bought me at Border’s this weekend. It’s entitled Looking for Alaska and is written by Peter Jenkins (of A Walk Across America fame). I’m thoroughly enjoying it, with its stories of adventure, danger, and beauty in a place I’ve always wanted to visit. The bear stories are particularly hair-raising. Today is a beautiful fall day, with bright sunshine and colored leaves. I’m trying to shake an allergy-induced headache, but otherwise things are ok. Michele and I are still just trying to cope with the chaos that inevitably comes with having a new baby. We enjoyed having her parents with us this weekend, but it is nice to just be by ourselves for the first time in a while. Among other things, it is hard for me to accept that there is little time for each other when raising little children.

Trusting in God

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I have some rare quiet time to myself this morning, having woken up earlier than usual on a Saturday morning. Outside, there is a touch of fog and it is an overcast day. The leaves on some of the trees in our yard are just starting to color up a bit. As I look out the window next to the desk where I write this, I also see the pool, which I badly need to get cleaned out and put away. It’s a real eyesore. Let’s see, I also need to clean the garage, which is a huge mess. Oh, and cut the lawn, trim the bushes, etc. Sigh. In my devotions this morning, I read about Joseph and how he trusted fully in the Lord in spite of very difficult and unfair circumstances (prison). My desire is to trust in God no matter what, but how anxious and upset I am, usually, worrying about just about everything! I so much appreciate those who, either through long experience or through God’s grace, are calm and serene in their walk with the Lord. Another thought I’ve had lately is, how incredible are His blessings upon me and my family. I am still coming to terms with being a husband, let alone the father of three wonderful children. I always dreamed of having a family but never really thought that that would be a reality. I praise God and thank Him for incredible mercy and grace, not just in this, but in so many things in my life. One of the biggest challenges for me is to constantly remember that it’s not about me, but about Jesus. My thought patterns, my life history, my actions and reactions, focus on my failures and my insecurities, yet I know that really, my focus should be on Him and who He is and what He has in mind for me to do. Last night, Keegan went over to the Yordy’s to attend a party they threw for visiting Korean school children. He had a great time. Brinley is doing better. Her bilirubin levels are on the decrease, so the doctor decided that she didn’t need to be on the biliblanket any more. She is so peaceful that you wouldn’t know that she has a broken collarbone. That should mend well over the course of the next few weeks. Tristan is such a cutie, he loves to hold his baby sister and give her kisses. He has shown no jealousy at all toward her, but it’s early days yet.

A beautiful Fall day

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It’s a beautiful, fall day here in Indiana. Michele and I agree that this area is very pretty in the fall, with the narrow country roads, abundant trees, and the corn and soybeans waiting to be harvested. There is a lot of undeveloped land here, and that means that there is wide variety of wildlife. As far as we know, the woodchuck is still burrowed beneath our garden shed, and lots of birds come to drink from our little goldfish pond each morning. I need to start filling up the birdfeeder again so that they will get used to feeding there. Last night Michele and I had a better night’s sleep, although Tristan did his usual routine of coming into bed with us in the middle of the night. Brinley slept pretty well. Mother is leaving today to go back home and get some much needed rest! Michele’s mom and her brother, Bryan, will be coming to stay for a while on Sunday, so we look forward to that.

Exhausted

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Today has been rather exhausting. I should be more specific…Today AND last night were exhausting! Brinley was pretty fussy last night, and Tristan clambered into our bed during the wee hours of the morning, so between the two of them, Michele and I didn’t get much sleep. Michele decided to ask the home healthcare nurse about some symptoms she had noticed in Brinley. The symptoms she noticed were that Brinley always cried when picked up or significantly disturbed in some way, that she seemed to favor her left arm, that her left arm wasn’t as active as the right arm, and most importantly, that she had noticed that there was a swelling near or by Brinley’s collarbone. So we decided to call the doctor and she said to bring her in right away. The appointment was at 11:20a and we just arrived home around 5p. Turns out that we were right to be concerned. Brinley has a broken collarbone, poor thing. We assume it happened during birth, and we know that it is a common occurrence. Some good news is that her bilirubin level may have peaked. Yesterday it was at a high of 17.4, and today it was down to 16.9, so maybe we won’t have to use the biliblanket for much longer. We’ll see. In other news, last night, Keegan and I went to his school to learn how to put together and take apart his instrument for band. He chose to learn the alto saxophone, and is really excited about it. Also, the Dutailier glider/rocker and matching ottoman that was our birthday present to Michele, arrived in the mail today. I’ve just finished putting it together and Michele is very pleased with it. Finally, we are so thankful that my mother has been with us during this sometimes difficult time, doing the dishes, cooking delicious meals, looking after Keegan when he got home from school today and we were still in Muncie at the doctors, etc.

Brinley Grace

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What an interesting past week! First of all, our little girl, Brinley Grace, was born on Friday, October 4, at 4:53p. She weighed 7 lbs., 15 oz. and is 20 inches long. Michele was induced three weeks early because her doctor discovered some irregularities in Brinley’s heart during a routine exam on Wednesday of last week. Although it took awhile to get Brinley interested in coming out into the world (Michele was put on Pitocin starting early Friday a.m.), the birth went fairly smoothly. The neonatology team was present at her birth and thoroughly checked her over. It is a relief to report that her heart troubles are relatively minor. Basically, she has premature arterial contractions (PAC) plus a small hole in between the left and right atria. Today, four days later, she is doing well, although her pediatrician has ordered a special device called a biliblanket for us to use on her for the next few days as a way to help with increased levels of jaundice. Basically, this device is like a mini-tanning bed for babies ;-) . It’s a small, fiber-optic pad that we wrap around her back, and when the device is on, Brinley looks like a little firefly. It’s pretty cute. Michele is doing very well, all things considered. She hasn’t even had to take anything for pain since the birth. Tristan has been fairly traumatized, though, from all the time away from his mommy and daddy during the past weekend. As a result, he is even more clingy than usual. Keegan is doing fine. He’s very proud of his new little sister.