Our saga continues…Michele is still not improving and I am still at home just about every day to help with the little ones. We got a call from her neurologist’s office earlier today, requesting that we come in for another office visit next Wednesday morning (May 11). We’re not sure what this will be about. We were told that they had blood test results, but we weren’t told what those results were. We used this opportunity to specifically request a blood test for Lyme Disease. We don’t know if/when that will take place.

So in short, we’re still waiting for answers. It is really, really discouraging to wait weeks and weeks without any answers and more questions all the time. Such as, how long can we do this? How on earth am I going to be able to do my job? Will I even have a job at this rate?

We also feel intensely alone and isolated because of Michele’s ill health. We are very appreciative of the meals that some have made for us and the prayers of many, but we are struggling with deep depression and anxiety right now. Every day is a huge struggle. I know that may sound overly dramatic, but it is true. I have never felt more uncertain about [and disappointed by] so many things in my life: faith, health, finances, job, relationships, church, emotions, you name it.

We have confidence that God is working through our circumstances for our good…somehow. It is very hard to not feel doubt and hurt, though.

[I neglected to mention that all three of our younger children have had colds for over a week now, which makes them even more crabby and needy for attention than they usually are. All four of them know something is wrong, that we are upset, and they "act out" without really knowing the cause. E.g. Brinley has temper tantrums several times a day, Tristan listens and obeys even less than before, and Cohen has turned into a very aggressive (hitting, kicking) little boy. Keegan is also struggling. Michele and I feel a lot of guilt about all of this.]