Where I’ve been

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I haven’t written a blog post in a very long time. So long, in fact, that even my father-in-law complained to me that he was sick of seeing the previous post about long ago pets.  So where have I been?

I’ve been out of sorts and very preoccupied, that’s where. And not much has happened to improve the situation. Among other things I’ve been contemplating is how utterly futile it can be to look to one’s job or career for fulfillment and satisfaction. Which is too bad, since the time I spend at my job far exceeds the face time I am able to spend with my family. I’m not saying I should get more satisfaction in my job than I do with my family. But there should be SOME measure of satisfaction in one’s job or career, right? Well, not always.

I’ve been praying for answers and direction but don’t have any yet. I think I am supposed to just sit and wait. That’s a hard thing for me to do; I tend to feel trapped and like Jacob in the Old Testament, I try to do my own thing to accomplish what I think is God’s will for me. I think of the well known scripture verse, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) This is a hard lesson for me to learn. Another reading I particularly like about this issue is in Streams in the Desert, the entry for May 2, which talks about Numbers 9:19. Readers of this devotional are exhorted to simply wait until a direction is clear.

I feel confined, frustrated, with mounting troubles. These are not new and I’m sure they’ll always be with me as long as I live. I need to learn to be patient and wait upon God for everything.

  • http://shelter.nu/ Alex

    Hiya. Not an easy post to follow through or make reasonable comments on, but a few observations, if I may?

    Third, why would you think that God helps people who don't go out and help themselves? Neither Psalms nor Numbers are good sources for knowing what to do in the now; try the apocalyptic notions of Luke and Paul for inspiration to go off and just do something that seems right. I don't think waiting for God solves anything at all; it creates a passive filter between your state and your path forward. You are supposed to *create* that path, not just walk it.

    Secondly, I hear your pain and I wish I could help you out. Juggling priorities and fulfillment between work and normal life can be stomach-churning at best, devastating at worst, especially when you are observing your own value against the work you do. I'm with you, mate, and I truly feel your pain. I've been there, I am there, and I'm working through these things as well.

    First, never follow conventions if your life is on the line. Count backwards, move forwards. :)

  • http://lonewolflibrarian.wordpress.com/ John

    Hang in there, brother.
    Watch this encouraging video from Tim Huges: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6V0rgrt1nTM

  • http://www.familymanlibrarian.com FamManLib

    Alex,

    First, thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my post, and I apologize for taking so long to reply.

    To respond to your point about waiting vs. taking action, I see both sides to it. There are things I've done, decisions I've made when I took a certain direction and I think God blessed it. One of these decisions resulted in meeting my future wife :-)

    On the other hand, I firmly believe there are times when it is imperative to wait until a forward direction is clear. There are many Bible verses, plus personal experience, that support this, and as someone else who wrote to me separately pointed out, waiting isn't necessarily a passive thing. Waiting is (or can be) active.

    Again, thank you for writing and for your encouragement! It means a lot

    If I am correct, you work at the National Library of Australia, no? I'd love to connect with you about your work there at some point.

    Regards,

    Steve

  • http://www.familymanlibrarian.com FamManLib

    Alex,

    First, thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my post, and I apologize for taking so long to reply.

    To respond to your point about waiting vs. taking action, I see both sides to it. There are things I've done, decisions I've made when I took a certain direction and I think God blessed it. One of these decisions resulted in meeting my future wife :-)

    On the other hand, I firmly believe there are times when it is imperative to wait until a forward direction is clear. There are many Bible verses, plus personal experience, that support this, and as someone else who wrote to me separately pointed out, waiting isn't necessarily a passive thing. Waiting is (or can be) active.

    Again, thank you for writing and for your encouragement! It means a lot

    If I am correct, you work at the National Library of Australia, no? I'd love to connect with you about your work there at some point.

    Regards,

    Steve

  • http://www.familymanlibrarian.com FamManLib

    John,

    Thank you for your encouragement. I watched the video via the link you sent and it was indeed a good one to remind me of the need to interact with and see God in everything, including the waiting times.

    Steve

  • http://shelter.nu/ Alex

    Hi Steve,

    Sorry for my even longer reply to your reply, been a bit crazy around here lately.

    First, I quit the National Library of Australia in 2008 (Canberra is the federal government seat city, and all federal [including the library] permanent positions require Australian citizenship which I don't have, and I could only push my contract so far. Oh, and depression about library direction and work, but that's a longer story), but even if I don't work there anymore I'm still active online (NGC4LIB, CODE4LIB), blogging).

    Second, about waiting and waiting for signs that you should somehow proceed ; it's actually a bit silly for me to respond too much to this as the context isn't given (and it sounds traumatizing enough as it is not to make it public), so I'm only taking my own personal experiences and extrapolating those on top of what has been given. :) So, in other words, I have no idea what I'm talking about.

    All I know is that I'm waiting, too. And as your friend said, waiting can be an active state, but it also depends on what the definition of “passive” and “active” means in your specific context. Let's pick on my own context as an example; I'm waiting for my True Path and Calling [TM] to appear, but in the mean time I'm walking towards those things I enjoy and are skilled in. And I wouldn't be surprised if they correlate, that the things I do because I feel a connection with them, when I feel they are good for me and those around me, then they just might end up being the answer. Is this God giving me direction, or me following His instructions, or Me going where I should?

    Anyway, it all comes down to what you mean by “waiting.” I hope you figure it out. Dang, I hope we all figure it out. Any day soon now. Whenever you're ready.

    Kind regards,

    Alex