1970

The year 1970 is permanently engraved in my memory. Lots of things happened that year that irrevocably changed my family and those things still have an impact on me today.

In July 1970 I had my third birthday.

That same year, my paternal grandfather, Grandpa Oberg, died. I don’t remember him unfortunately, but I have particular memories of his death, such as seeing him in a casket in the dining room of the house belonging to my Uncle Laverne and Aunt Harriett Oberg, my father’s older brother and his wife. People, mostly relatives, were standing around in groups, many of them crying. Then there was the graveyard and the gravesite where he was buried. If my memory is correct, it was a sunny day and my brother, Dan, and I ran around a bit, and I particularly remember looking down into the big black hole into which my grandpa’s casket was to be laid. In my memory, my mother had made us black suits with matching jackets and shorts with a white shirt underneath. (Interestingly, a few years ago when my Uncle Laverne died, I drove out to Nebraska to attend his funeral along with some other family members. My uncle was buried in the same graveyard as my grandpa. The graveyard was definitely familiar to me even after more than 30 years had passed since my Grandpa Oberg’s funeral. My brothers and I decided to look for his grave and I was the first one to find it. That whole, short visit to Gothenburg, Nebraska, was like a series of flashbacks to memories long suppressed.)

In 1970 the church group my family belonged to suffered a huge split over revelations of immorality, or at least, ‘inappropriate conduct,’ of what they then termed the ‘universal leader,’ a man from New York named James Taylor, Jr. (a.k.a. JT Jr.). My maternal grandfather, Stanley McCallum, was involved in uncovering the ‘inappropriate conduct’ and was therefore near the center of the whole controversy. People in this church group (generically known as Exclusive Brethren) split over who believed which side of the story. This affected people all over the world, splitting families, pitting children against parents, husbands against wives, friends against each other. Two of my grandpa’s own sons refused to believe him and actively worked to discredit him and support JT Jr. (and still do to this day). I have no memory of Uncle David and Uncle Garth and I know next to nothing about their children or grandchildren, my cousins, except for one who left that group about eight years ago. I know of situations beyond count where separations were forced by JT Jr. supporters, e.g. children were taken away from their parents by relatives, in some cases, never to be seen again. I know of husbands whose wives and kids stayed with the JT Jr. camp and spent the rest of their lives living alone and never recovering from the pain of separation. My grandpa and grandma never recovered from this, either.

Partly due to this split, my parents decided in 1970 to sell their farm in Nebraska and move in with my maternal grandparents in Detroit. I well remember living in the basement of my grandparents’ home for several months, then moving into a nearby house, where we lived for the next year and a half or so before moving to east central Illinois where I spent most of my growing up years. Lots of dramatic and difficult experiences punctuated that 18 month stay in Detroit but I won’t go into them here. My grandma died in 1982 and my grandpa in 1987. After their death when going through some of their papers I remember coming across my grandma’s diaries in which she documented some of the anguish, loss, and depression they felt as a result of the 1970 split.

For me the events of 1970 became almost legendary, serving as a backdrop to just about everything and everybody I knew. And there were many more splits after that. I no longer think that one side was entirely evil and one was entirely good. I do know, however, that the legacy of this JT Jr. guy is still very prevalent today, especially in Australia and New Zealand where the latest ‘universal leader’ is a Sydney business man named Bruce Hales. These people have received a lot of media scrutiny over their political machinations in that part of the world and elsewhere. It was pretty freaky for me to read about and then see a few videos on Google Video documenting what’s been going on. Fortunately I haven’t had much interaction with these people, although my sister Becky and her husband, Martin, have. Martin has many siblings who are in that group and they have been involved in legal proceedings about custody battles and such between parents and children who are part of this sect and those who aren’t. Both times I traveled to New Zealand, I saw members of this sect (a.k.a. Peebs, Exclusives, The Brethren, PBs, etc.) everywhere, and all of the people I knew there were tragically affected in some way or another. I well remember going to a small town in the north of the South Island called Motueka where there is a meeting of about 200 members, a big population of Peebs in such a small town. As soon as we arrived in town, our arrival was noted by these people and we were watched during our stay. My brother-in-law’s father and I would walk down one side of the main street, and notice some of these people coming toward us on the same side of the street. As soon as they noticed us, they crossed over to the other side of the street so as not to come in contact.

I am very thankful to have not been raised in that group, that my parents raised me and my siblings in a better environment, even though that environment was heavily influenced by, and contained a lot of legacies from, the JT Jr. era such as alcoholism. I’ve glossed over most of the darker elements to the story because I don’t think they need to be gone over yet again and also because I still don’t have a complete understanding of it all. And I don’t really want to anymore.

So…There you have it. 1970 was quite a year.

Landing a 747 on grass

Last weekend I continued my quest to scan more old photos, especially slides, so that more people, especially family and friends, could see them. I was particularly excited to unearth slides from my very first trip to New Zealand, in 1986. Viewing them brought back so many memories. At that point in time, my sister, Becky, was nearing the end of her first pregnancy. My niece, Lucy, would be born a month or so after I flew back to the States. She and her husband, Martin, had been married in May and I was the first one in my family to have the opportunity to visit them.

One of the funny memories I had relates to the flight from Los Angeles to Christchurch on Air New Zealand. (There was direct service then between the two cities; nowadays, you can’t get a direct flight to Christchurch and instead have to go through Auckland on the North Island.) I remember Becky telling me before I left home that I wasn’t to expect much of Christchurch, that the airport was really small and was out in the country. The flight I took was called at that time the Coral Route on Air New Zealand, which meant that I had stopovers in Hawaii and my choice of at least one other South Pacific Island, in this case, Fiji. I had never travelled overseas before and the flight was very long and I felt cramped and restless in the Boeing 747. You can imagine the excitement I felt when at long last, I spotted New Zealand out my window!

The photos below were taken from the plane as we came in for a landing in Christchurch. As we flew lower and lower on approach, I was amazed at the plains stretching out below me (what I later learned was the Canterbury Plains) and the endless number of sheep grazing in the various fields. I began to panic a little bit because we were literally only about 100 feet from the ground, almost at the point of landing, and nowhere could I see a runway or an airport! I remembered what Becky told me about the airport being small and the thought crossed my mind, and I half-believed it to be true, that maybe the runway was made of grass! I thought, wow, the pilots will be landing a 747 on grass!

Of course that turned out not to be the case. The plane landed safely on a regular ol’ runway after all, one that seemed to appear at the very last possible second before we hit the ground. But the memory of that approach to Christchurch will always be in my mind when I think of that trip!

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Look who’s 40

Today my brother, Dan, and sister, Debbie, who are twins, turn 40 years old. Amazing. I am the youngest of seven children (five boys and two girls; an eighth child, Donny, died when he was 18 months old). Dan and Debbie are the next youngest siblings. When we were kids, we tended to play games together and were perhaps closer to one another than we were to older brothers and my older sister. Individually and together, we have gone through a lot over the years.

Partly in celebration of their birthday, Dan and Debbie are going on special trips soon. I’m a bit jealous ;-) because Debbie is going to Florida for a week, and Dan is going to New Zealand for two weeks to visit with my sister, Becky, and her family.

Now tomorrow is another family birthday, this time, for my brother, Jeff. I wish Debbie, Dan, and Jeff well on their special days.

My sister in the news

“becky hickmott” – Google Search

My mother alerted me to the fact that my sister, Becky, was recently featured in the newsletter for the Canterbury (New Zealand) District Health Board. Becky recently began a new position for the health board as Professional Development and Recognition Program (PDRP) Facilitator. Cool! I miss my sister and her family a lot and wish that we could be together more often.

Some family photos

My brother, Dan, digitized many family photos a while ago. I’ve chosen a few to show here.

Below is a photo of all of my family members on the afternoon of our wedding in January 2000, including my six brothers and sisters and almost all of my nieces and nephews and one of my cousins. This is the last photo taken that includes all of my siblings and parents. My sister, Becky, is married and lives in New Zealand, so it is very unusual to have her in a recent family photo. And then my father died almost exactly two years after this photo was taken.

First row from left to right: Dan (brother), Ben (nephew), Keegan (son), Pelle (nephew), and Nils (nephew); Second row: Lars (nephew), my mother with Kerstin (niece) in her lap, my father with Bjorn (nephew) in his lap, and Sam (nephew from New Zealand). Third row: Debbie (sister), Bradley (cousin), Linda (sister-in-law), Jeff (brother), Jocelyn (niece), Tim (brother), Petra (sister-in-law), Kevin (brother), Britta (niece), me, Michele, Becky (sister from New Zealand).

Here is a photo of my mother and father on their wedding day in September 1958:

This photo is of Grandma McCallum, my mother’s mother. I was really close to her and miss her even to this day. This is the last photo taken of her not long before her death in October 1982. The baby in the stroller is Nils, my oldest nephew:

Below is a late photo of Grandpa and Grandma McCallum, the only grandparents I ever knew (my paternal grandparents both died before I was old enough to remember them):

I like this photo of all of us kids (except Donny, my parents’ third child, who died of unknown causes at 18 months of age). Left to right: Dan (#6 and twin to Debbie), Kevin (#1), me (#8) in Kevin’s lap, Tim (#2) with Debbie (#7 and twin to Dan) on his lap, Jeff (#4), and Becky (#5). At this point we still lived in Nebraska:

My Kiwi brother-in-law, Martin (top), along with some friends, pretending to do a Maori war dance called the “haka,” on a beautiful beach on the North Island:

Finally, here I am for my third birthday:

Open Source Software and Libraries: A Bibliography

I was pleased to see reference to an extensive bibliography of sources of information about open source software and libraries, posted to the oss4lib-l discussion list last week. It is written and maintained by Brenda Chawner of the School of Information Management, Victoria University of Wellington, New Zealand. It even includes a reference to one of my own articles. Yeah!

P.S. Michele and I have (somewhat jokingly) thought about applying to this school in NZ for my PhD and moving to that country, my favorite place in the whole world. That way we’d be relatively close to my sister, Becky, and her family in Christchurch, which would be great!

Quiet, Daddy

I was looking out the window toward our backyard one day recently, when I noticed movement near the door to our garden shed. I thought at first that it was just the groundhog again, the one that lives under the shed. But when I looked more closely, I could see some different colors and knew that it wasn’t the groundhog. I decided to walk out there and take a closer look. To my surprise, as I got near the shed, I could see that it was two little kittens, one gray and the other black and white, playing just outside the door. They were no more than a month old, I’d guess. When they finally saw me, they both scurried away into hiding. Now I know that we have a family of wild cats living in the shed, in addition to the groundhog! Keegan is now learning to play the alto saxophone, and seems to be enjoying it a lot. His first band concert will be in early December. Tristan continues to run around the house with tremendous energy. He doesn’t like it when he can’t keep me in sight, though. He gets very upset when I am not here. Brinley is putting on weight, and her skinny little legs are filling out! Michele says she takes after my side of the family because she makes lots of funny noises. A few days ago, I was joking around with Keegan and Tristan while they were having breakfast, singing silly songs. Tristan finally said to me in a shaking-his-head-at-my-stupidity tone of voice: “Quiet, Daddy!” Yesterday, I heard from our lawyer that the appropriate court papers had finally been filed in support of my adoption of Keegan. The next step will be a visit from the state department of child and family services. I am very glad that after several months of frustrating wait, things are finally moving along. Yesterday, we got a package from my sister, Becky, in New Zealand. It included a gift for Brinley and a letter with some photos of her family. It was great to hear from her! I often regret that we live so far away. Her children are nearly full grown now and it is sad that I have missed most of their growing up period.